


Socks To Be You

by Aurum18



Category: Alex Rider (TV 2020), Alex Rider - All Media Types, Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz
Genre: Crack, Fights, Gen, Laundry, Older Alex Rider, Tired Alex, University, well rather it's not quite serious but not quite crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:14:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27565108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurum18/pseuds/Aurum18
Summary: Alex Rider is just back from a long mission, extremely tired and he just wants to sleep. Too bad he has to do laundry. And too bad he can't do it in peace.____Or some people learn, once more, to never underestimate Alex Rider. Even a sleep deprived one.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 81





	Socks To Be You

The man dressed in staff uniform in the narrow passageway of the student accommodation is, despite appearances, not actually staff. It's the usual trick- people won't look at the person, they'll look at the uniform and implicitly trust them. Even a trained spy who has been operating for going on six years will not give a second glance when they've just gotten back from a three week long assignment feeling like they're about to drop dead from exhaustion.

Alex Rider had returned from the mission around 5am just about ready to flop into bed and sleep for a century only to discover that he had no clean clothes to change into- he'd been about to wash his usual load when he'd been pulled out for the mission and on the mission he'd pretty much dirtied everything else he owned. He was desperate to get out of his dirty, sour, damp clothes and into those warm fleecy pajamas he could just see taunting him from within his laundry basket. 

And so he has tiredly dragged himself down to the building's launderette with an awkward shaped basket full of clothes and has just pressed start on the machine.

Alex sighs tiredly at the display blinking 30 minutes at him and decides he's going flop on his bed upstairs as he waits. Folding down the basket, and narrowly avoiding tripping on a pile of damp dumped washing near his machine, he walks out.

The man in the passage has only just arrived. Those who have sent him expected Alex to arrive later. He is positioned where he is as it's a blind spot for cameras and the boy cannot avoid passing through this area to get from the accommodation entrance to his room. He isn't worried about witnesses- no sane university student is up at 5.30am on a sunday morning and those small few not so sane ones who are awake pass by infrequently enough that it isn't a worry. The man is not expecting Alex to be armed. He is expecting him to be laden down with heavy luggage, hands full and reflexes shot to hell from sleep deprivation. 

Alex Rider enters the passageway head drooping and feet dragging, beelining for the stairs that will take him to his bed, he easily dismisses the staff member- it's not one he's seen before but he doesn't even look their way to notice this except suddenly there's a needle coming straight for his throat. 

The remarkable thing about Alex Rider, as Yassen Gregorovich had once noted, is that he's not an ordinary boy and people should really stop underestimating him, it's just illogical. 

Alex's tiredness is washed away in an instant by a sudden surge of adrenaline and, in a shockingly fast reflexive movement, he releases the half secured pop up washing basket and pulls it down over his would be attacker's head as far as it will go.

The supposed staff member is caught in surprise and utterly disoriented, the needle dropped to the floor in his confusion. Before he can recover, Alex slams his knee into his groin not once, not twice but four times.

He leaves the man groaning on the floor, encased from head to midriff in a polka-dotted washing basket, and stomps on the needle casing before he sprints swiftly upstairs.

By the time the man has recovered enough to pull the basket off of himself, there is utterly no sign of the young spy.

He knows where the boy's room is of course but, groaning and clutching at his balls, he decides he doesn't have much optimism for round two…. at least on his own.

\--

Half an hour later Alex gets a notification from the laundry app on his phone and realises he has to return downstairs unfortunately. He's too tired for this. Going commando for the foreseeable future does not seem appealing however. 

There's a window in the laundry room though that backs out into the very carpark Alex has below his window. He's on floor three- not low enough for people to be able to climb up the slippery sleek exterior of the modern building but also low enough for it to be convenient for him to take the stairs rather than the lift. Annoyingly it is still too high to jump from. There is a feature on the building though that breaks up the slick unclimbable exterior- a mostly useless almost ladderlike in appearance frame travelling up outside a column of windows. Alex isn't sure of its purpose- a useless design feature really but it will very much come in useful now. Unfortunately, due to some careful arrangement on MI6's part for his 'protection' no windows in Alex's flat have it- not in his room, not in the kitchen and not in any of his flatmates' rooms either. 

However, the flat next door has one outside their kitchen- Alex knows this from having some drinks round there once shortly after he first arrived and before he ever had to disappear and so hadn't gained any sort of odd reputation yet. 

The corridor between the flat doors might contain the man though, or Mr Probably Very Sore Balls might have figured out Alex needs to collect his washing and be staking out the downstairs corridor again or laundry room if he doesn't know Alex's exact flat.

There is no way to to tell but all he wants is his washing back with those cozy pajamas and a good long rest so he is not risking it. 

Alex glances up at his ceiling. There is a small hatch there. It is locked but not by a key- it unlocks by pushing a cuboid shaped tool into a square and twisting. Nothing Alex hadn't solved with a penknife and the end of a wooden spoon within his first few days here. The maintenance area above the ceiling is tight and contains wires but can easily fit Alex, whose fitness regime has focused on keeping a lithe (yet no less deadly) figure since the age of 15 where MI6 had been worried at the start of a growth spurt, wanting to keep the advantage of his young unthreatening appearance for as long as possible. 

The space runs above the whole floor, with at least one hatch to each room.

Just over 5 minutes later, Alex finishes shimmying down the building's strange design feature and slips through the launderette window with a drawstring washing bag that belongs to a flatmate but lives in the kitchen. The room is still empty- shortly past 6am on this day of the week is still an unholy hour for students though Alex notes there's another machine running now.

He sets about retrieving his washing and has just pulled the drawstring shut when the door opens behind him and suddenly Alex has got company. Not just the man this time- there's another man and a woman with him, reinforcements. Alex hasn't come unprepared though. He has a small taser tucked in his pocket which he had taken with him in case of the man finding him again but, due to his recent washing wrestling unfortunately, it isn't to hand. 

As the first man dives towards him (seems there isn't a backup syringe), Alex notes the pile of washing near his machine he'd almost tripped over earlier- someone impatient had at some point emptied out another person's wet washing onto the floor. 

Alex dives sideways out of the way of Sore Balls and scoops up the large pile of saturated laundry which he throws in the man's still chalky face and which fall all over and cling to him, blinding him for the second time in an hour. Alex takes advantage of this and the backup peoples' distraction due to dodging flying soggy socks and knickers to pull out his taser. Quickly he darts forwards and tazes Sore Balls who is unluckily covered in sopping, electricity conducting clothes. The unfortunate man jerks around with quite a lot of screaming and choked out gasps then stumbles backwards, knocking over the other man before he falls still. 

The woman sets her jaw firmly, dodges over Sore Balls' body and darts towards Alex making like she's going to flip him though maybe she's feinting. Either way it doesn't matter because Alex grips the top of his heavy large duffle bag of wet washing and swings it around at her head knocking her away and her head flying right into the corner of a dryer door, a dribble of blood trickling down to her neck. She does not get up again. 

The last man is understandably wary, hesitant. He goes for a gun at his waistband. 

Alex's taser is short range, it does not fire like some do but rather requires touching his opponent. It's not much use right now at all and Alex curses that he was too tired to search for something more fitting in his substantial arsenal. 

There is however a large box of washing powder on its side and spilling out over the top of a machine shortly in front of Alex. As the last man standing raises the gun, still hesitating slightly due to probable orders for him to be taken alive, Alex leaps forwards and sweeps his arm around, flinging the open box of powder right into the man's wide eyes. As he screams and clutches at his face with the gun forgotten, Alex finishes him off with a roundhouse kick to the head. 

Powder is drifting through the air. Blood drips darkly down a white dryer door, collecting in a small pile on the floor which is scattered with soaking wet bras, pants, t-shirts and unconscious bodies. 

Alex yawns and collects his washing from beside the fallen woman. He really really needs a nap, he can't be bothered anymore to use a dryer and decides instead he'll hang everything up in his room to air-dry once he's got some rest. He'll sleep naked. Screw his cozy pajamas, it really isn't worth the effort. Adulting huh.

**Author's Note:**

> Was doing my laundry and .......this just happened.  
> Hope you enjoy!!!!  
> I don't usually write in first person, tried it out. If there's any tense slip ups I'm sorry.


End file.
